Is Love Really Love?
In Romans 12:9, the Apostle Paul exhorts his readers to, “let love be genuine.” He’s inviting them into a lifestyle of affection which is free from hypocrisy because it’s grounded in the truth. Specifically he says this brand of love abhors evil and clings to good.
I think we all agree on love. Few people deny the universal virtue and centrality of love. However, though we may agree on love we often fail to love. Regardless of our culture or spirituality, we agree on love but we fail to love.
One reason for this is we don't define evil and good as we should. In fact, more to the point, we don't define these ideas at all. We presume good, and we often ignore evil until it destroys something we love. Love then has become a sort of live and let live edict. Certainly there is a natural and genuine impulse to protect the marginalized, oppressed, and suffering (something which is perfectly in line with the heart of God.) But without a firm grasp on truth we often disagree about who is marginalized, oppressed, and suffering. Without a clear understanding of truth and evil and good, perhaps unwittingly, we cling to evil and hate what's good.
In other words, in the name of love we reject truth.
One of the ways this has most poignantly gripped our cultural moment is through the manta, "love is love." The heart behind this ideal is virtuous. We desire autonomy, for ourselves and others. Our country was founded upon this kind of liberty. And so it’s natural for us to believe every human being should be able choose who they love and how they love. While this sounds noble and generous, it ultimately fails to capture the heart of the God who hates evil and is good (see Psalm 5:4-6 and Mark 10:18). Being genuine is about aligning with our Creator. Hypocrisy is not about betraying self, it’s about betraying God.
Some people live by this mantra. Others shame people for living by it. Both I think need to learn afresh to let love be genuine. Love is not love. Human love is not simply an irrefutable reason unto itself. Love is complex. And Paul is teaching us, it must be genuine. It must be without hypocrisy. It must hate whatever God hates. It must embrace whatever God embraces. In other words, love is not a personalize expression. Love is not a matter of self-fulfillment. Love is a matter of self-denial.
Self-denial is not a practice for only some people. Author Rebecca MacLaughlin explains that, "Most Christians struggle at times with attractions that, if followed, would lead them into ... sin" (Secular Creed, 35). Following Jesus is about denying yourselves. Salvation and sanctification put to death things within us which are contrary to the way of Jesus. Specifically, Jesus redefines love for us. That's costly. It's costly to let someone else define love for us. Allowing God to define evil and good is unpopular and it takes courage. Which is another reason why we agree with love, but fail to love. Love is costly. Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26). Loving Jesus is about forsaking all other loves. It does not necessarily mean we abandon all relationships. Rather it means Jesus becomes our central affection through which all other affection fall in due subordination. Jesus is our love.
